


And I lost my shoe in a rainy bog

by SwaggerDownTheStreet



Category: Hiccup Series - Cressida Cowell, How to Train Your Dragon (Book Series), How to Train Your Dragon (Books), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Book Hiccup, Book Meets Movie, Book!Hiccup - Freeform, Book-Movie Crossover, But Screw That, Crack Taken Seriously, Dragonese, Gen, It's just because there's no possible way for this to actuallly happen even in these universes, Movie Hiccup, Movie!Berk, Movie!Hiccup, No Slash, Yes Dragonese works in both Universes FIGHT ME, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwaggerDownTheStreet/pseuds/SwaggerDownTheStreet
Summary: The one where Book!Hiccup somehow ends up on Movie!Hiccup's Berk.Takes placeduringboth the first book and the first movie. NOT COMPLETELY SPOILER-FREE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!Also, I like to believe you don't have to know both book and movie canon to read this (although you totally should go read/watch whichever one you haven't just because they're both so freaking GOOD).
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	And I lost my shoe in a rainy bog

**Author's Note:**

> Dragonese is **_bolded and italicized_**.
> 
> Also, Book Hiccup is 11 (or 10 3/4) and Movie Hiccup is 15.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, Hope and Heir to the Tribe of the Hairy Hooligans, was stumbling through a forest in search of his tiny whiny reptile of a hunting dragon, Toothless.

You see, Hiccup was supposed to train Toothless to be an ideal hunting dragon for the initiation of the young Vikings of Berk, because all young Vikings who did not pass would be exiled, which was a terrible terrible fate. Unfortunately, training a dragon requires a certain amount of control over said dragon, and, as evidenced by the fact that Toothless had flown off to chase a squirrel, Hiccup was not very skilled in "control". It was a rather annoying squirrel that Toothless had flown after, though.

 ** _"Toothless!"_** Hiccup called in Dragonese, which is the language that Dragons speak to one another. **_"Toothless! Come back here right now!"_** The boy paused to listen, perhaps hoping that Toothless would have a miraculous change of heart and decide to be obedient after all. The relative silence of the forest whispered on. **_"Toothless, if you don't come back here this instant, I promise that you will go to bed hungry tonight!"_** This was not true. Hiccup was far too kind, and Toothless would pull his most saddest face and Hiccup would cave.

But that was beside the point.

Hiccup continued pushing his way through the thick brush, thorns scraping his face as he called for his disobedient dragon.

Which was what he was doing one moment. The next, he put his foot down in just the perfectly wrong place, the ground fell out from underneath him, and he fell suddenly into blackness.

At first, he thought he had been knocked unconscious, but he could feel, still, the ground beneath him. Hiccup was now very confused, because logically, if he'd fallen down a hole, then he would be able to see the canopy of the forest above him. And if it was too deep for that, well then, he'd probably be dead.

It occured to Hiccup that maybe he _was_ , in fact, dead. But if this was Valhalla, he was rather disappointed. (And if it was Helheim, it didn't seem to be as horrible and terrifying as it was made out to be.)

Hiccup pushed himself to his feet and reached up. He felt hard-packed dirt just above the horns of his helmet. He frowned. This wasn't very logical at all.

He put his hands out and felt dirt behind him and at both sides. In front of him, he felt only air.

Hiccup paused. Logically, he should start walking forward. But there was nothing at all logical about this situation. He pressed his hands on the dirt behind him, hard. Nothing happened. He tried each side of him, and then the ceiling. Still nothing.

He sighed. There was nothing left to do except walk in the complete darkness.

And so he did.

He put his right hand on the wall, and put his feet down very carefully to be certain he wouldn't fall through another strange hole.

He continued walking.

He noticed that the smell of the tunnel was very musty, and rather warm for a Just-Recently-Winter Spring day, especially on Berk. Perhaps this was the reason that small dragons dug deep holes into the ground during their hibernation.

He kept on walking.

Now that Hiccup was thinking of the smell, he noticed he could smell water, too. Not salt water, but a fresh, lake smell.

Quite suddenly, there was a soft thump just ahead, followed immediately by a shrill screech.

**_"O-o-ow! No f-f-fair! N-n-now Toothless's b-b-bottom hurts!"_ **

"Toothless!" Hiccup cried. He rushed forward (forgetting to be careful) and scooped the small green dragon up in his arms. **_"Toothless, you are a very naughty dragon! What would you have done if I hadn't fallen in the same hole? You could have gotten yourself in horrible trouble!"_**

 ** _"Oh, hello H-H-Hiccup,"_** said the dragon sulkily. **_"Toothless d-d-didn't c-catch the s-s-squirrel."_**

**_"That doesn't matter. We have to worry about getting home in time for dinner now."_ **

The little dragon made a _hrmph_ noise and crawled down Hiccup's waistcoat to sulk.

Hiccup kept walking.

After a long while of walking in blackness, it became walking in _almost_ blackness. And not long after that change, it became walking in dark shadows, and the shadows slowly receding as Hiccup kept on walking, until finally, the tunnel made a sharp right turn and--

Hiccup turned the corner and was immediately blinded. He gasped in sock and put his foot down on air. Then he stumbled forward and smacked into something, hard. He rolled over, gasping for breath that had been knocked from him, blinking with wide eyes and trying to something other than glaring, dancing spots.

He sucked in one breath after another, lying on the ground and blinking fast. Toothless was squealing about how mean Hiccup was to fall on the ground and hurt poor Toothless, who was still curled up in his waistcoat.

When Hiccup finally felt he could stand up without falling over again, he slowly pushed himself to his feet.

He was in what appeared to be a sort of cove. There were stone cliffs on all sides, which meant there probably wasn't any way out aside from the tunnel Hiccup had just trekked through. In the middle was a smallish lake, and there were a few trees here and there. It was rather peaceful, and Hiccup would have been pretty relaxed if it weren't for the fact that he didn't recognise the place at all.

After all, Hiccup knew every cliff and crevice of Berk like the back of his hand.

**_"I don't think we're on Berk anymore, Toothless."_ **

Then something large and black and heavy slammed in to him, and he was on the ground again.

* * *

Hiccup Haddock was a ~~man~~ ~~boy~~ Viking on a mission. 

He had spent a large majority of the most recent weeks of his life working on a very large project. A project that involved a black Spawn-of-Lightning-and-Death-Itself dragon who he'd taken the liberty of naming Toothless (because comedic genius, y'know?).

You see, Hiccup had shot down a Night Fury, the Dragon No One's Ever Seen. He had shot it down and gone into the woods to find it and kill it.

But Hiccup couldn't bring himself to kill the creature, and so he cut the ropes, freeing it instead.

But the dragon couldn't fly away, and Hiccup had been feeding it ever since. And Thor knows it was hard to sneak an entire basket of fish out of the village.

Hiccup had made an artificial tail fin for Toothless, because one had gotten torn off when Hiccup shot the creature out of the sky.

And Hiccup had been studying the dragon ever since, hidden away in the cove, where nobody could ever find him. For you see, the Vikings of Hiccup's village were caught up in a terrible war with dragons of every kind, and they would kill any scaly, fire-breathing reptile on sight.

Today, he was heading to the cove to try something new. He double-checked and triple-checked that nobody was following him, and he ran through the forest. He winded through the trees on a sure pathway that had become second-nature for him to follow.

Finally, he reached the crack in the rock cliffs that he slipped through without any trace of his old hesitation.

Today though, he wasn't greeted by a somewhat eager black dragon.

No, today, he was greeted by a sight that made his heart stop for a good few seconds.

There was a small boy on the other side of the lake. He didn't seem to be freaking out, which was good because it meant he hadn't found Toothless yet. Now if Hiccup could just get him out of the cove and back to the village before he saw anything....

But too late. Toothless himself, who had apparently been skulking nearby in the shadows, bowled into the kid and knocked him hard in to the ground.

* * *

Black scales filled Hiccup's vision as he hit the ground for a second time, knocking all his breath right back out and sending a bolt of pain into the back of his head. He wasn't wearing his helmet anymore.

 ** _"You are not my tiny human,"_** the dragon hissed, his face barely an inch away from Hiccup's.

Hiccup wheezed, regretting all of his life decisions that lead to this point. **_"Very true, I know I don't have a dragon as agressive as you. Now -- could get off, please? I'm dying here--"_**

The dragon jumped back as if he'd been burned. His bright green eyes narrowed and his tail lashed back and forth. Hiccup pushed himself painfully to a sitting position, then bent over and sucked in every bit of air he could fit into his lungs.

 ** _"Who are you?"_** the black dragon demanded. **_"And how do you speak to dragons?"_**

Hiccup felt like his lungs were the correct shape again, so he stood shakily. **_"I'm Hiccup. I learned to speak Dragonese as I was growing up."_**

The dragon cocked its head. **_"You're not Hiccup."_**

Hiccup frowned at that, and opened his mouth to voice his objections to that statement, but then someone grabbed his arm and whipped him around. "Listen, you can _not_ tell _anybody_ about this, do you understand?"

* * *

The kid looked at Hiccup as if he'd just said that fish live in trees and eat reindeer. "Uh -- what?"

He was rather scrawny, but there was a bulge in his waistcoat that made Hiccup think of stolen food. His hair was messy and bright red. He still had that perplexed look on his face.

"I said, _don't tell anyone_."

"Erm. Tell anyone what?"

Hiccup dropped the kid's arm to run his hands through his hair instead. Was this kid stupid? "About the _dragon_!"

The boy turned to look at Toothless, who stared back, tail slowly lashing on the ground. "Er -- but why not?"

He seemed rather calm for someone who'd just been mauled by a dragon and practically stared into the face of Death Itself.

It occurred to Hiccup that this kid probably didn't understand just what was going on here. Which, of course, was competely understandable. "Listen, just--" Oh dear. How was Hiccup going to explain his way out of this one? He took a deep breath. "Listen, I -- I've been, um, _training_ with him, and I -- he's not -- agh this is stupid. Look, just don't tell anyone alright?"

The kid frowned at him for a solid half minute. Hiccup rather thought he had forgotten about the question completely when he said, "I still don't see why. Why's he in this cove in the first place."

Oh for Thor's sake. " _Because_ , I've gotten a bit attached to this idiot, and if anyone found him, they'd kill him, and I don't want that."

The boy's face went slack with shock. Understandable. "Wha -- why in Thor's name would they kill him?!" ...Not so understandable.

Hiccup stared at him. Clearly he was an idiot or something. Maybe Toothless had shocked him out of his mind. "Have you forgotten about the war with the dragons? And the way we fight each other over food and they burn our entire village to the ground every other night?"

This kid now looked, if possible, even more shocked than he'd been already. He took a short breath as if about to say something, but then a scaly green head popped out of his furry waistcoat and began shrieking.

* * *

**_"W-W-WHO IS HURTING P-P-P-POOR T-TOOTHLESS?! TOOTHLESS IS S-S-SORE ALL O-O-OVER!! H-HICCUP IS A M-M-MEAN M-MASTER!! HE LETS POOR T-T-TOOTHLESS G-GET H-H-HURT!!"_ **

The black dragon behind him cocked his head. Hiccup ignored him in favor of calming Toothless down. **_"Yes, Toothless, I'm very mean. But I'll let you have the most delicious scallops when we get home, without the funny black spots."_**

Toothless pouted.

"What did you just do?" demanded the crazy guy who'd been rambling about a war with dragons. "Are you... _talking_ to him?"

Hiccup wondered if he should admit he spoke Dragonese to this clearly mentally insane person. He decided, he didn't quite care anymore. "Yeah, I am. Because otherwise he would get all angry and sulk."

"But--" he shook his head-- "But how come he's in your waistcoat?"

"I told you, he sulks."

**_"T-Toothless does n-not s-s-s-sulk!!"_ **

**_"Shush."_ **

"That's not what I meant," the guy insisted. "I meant, why do you have a _dragon_ in your waistcoat?"

Hiccup looked down at Toothless. "He's my hunting dragon." He looked up at the other guy with narrowed eyes. "Why do _you_ have a dragon in your cove?"

The other boy looked helplessly confused. "But -- nobody has _hunting dragons_ ," he insisted, totally ignoring Hiccup's question.

"Uh, yes they do. Where even is this?"

He frowned. "Berk."

Hiccup shook his head stubbornly. "No, it most certainly is _not_."

"Yes it is. I would know."

"But it _can't_ be -- if this is Berk, you shouldn't be surprised that I have a hunting dragon."

"Clearly you hit your head too hard when Toothless jumped on you."

"I am _not_ delusional! Clearly--" he stopped. "Wait, Toothless?"

"Ah--" the other boy rubbed his neck. "It's kind of a joke, I guess. His teeth are retractable."

"No, I mean -- _this_ is Toothless." He held up the tiny green dragon in question.

The black dragon snorted loudly. **_"THAT is a very small lizard, with wings."_**

Toothless gasped in Hiccup's arms, highly affronted. **_"Lizard w-with w-w-wings?!"_** he repeated. _**"L-L-L-LIZARD WITH W-WINGS?!"**_ The little dragon struggled to remove himself from Hiccup's grasp, with limited success. **_"C-C-COME H-HERE AND S-S-SAY THAT TO T-TOOTHLESS'S F-F-F-FACE, Y-YOU BIG B-B-BULLY!!"_**

The weird crazy guy lifted a finger. "Um...."

The big black dragon (Toothless??) walked lazily over to Hiccup and put his face directly in front of Toothless's. **_"You are a very small, very whiny lizard. With wings."_** He breathed an excessive amount of smoke out of his nostrils. Hiccup wrinkled his nose.

Toothless had had enough. He launched himself at the bigger dragon and began biting his ears.

Now, Toothless, true to his name, does not actually have any teeth. However, dragon's have very sharp gums and very strong jaws, and can indeed inflict a considerable amount of pain with their mouths, even without teeth.

The bigger, black Toothless roared loudly and shook is head violently, trying to dislodge the tiny little ball of fury that was now assaulting every bit of large scary dragon he could reach.

The crazy guy looked mildly concerned. "Is that -- um, should we stop them?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "It wouldn't do much good if you tried. When dragons fight, they won't stop until there's a winner."

"Well. That'll be Toothless, then." It wasn't a question.

Hiccup snorted. "Well, considering they're _both_ apparently Toothless, yes, probably."

"Right."

* * *

He continued to watch the Toothlesses assaulting each other before turning to the other kid. "Where did you come from?"

He looked at Hiccup. "What?"

"Well, obviously, we're not from the same place, but we both apparently live on Berk. But, I've never heard of any other island called Berk. So: Where did you come from? You can't possibly be by yourself."

"Oh, I came from--" he turned around to look at the solid stone cliff. "Um. Hold on." He walked over to the cliff and started running his hand on it. He walked back and forth, putting both hands against the cliff face, becoming increasingly frantic.

Finally, he stopped, staring at the wall and looking like he'd just been told that he had exactly ten seconds to live. "It's gone."

"Uh, what?"

"There was -- this -- I dunno, a hole. I fell in a hole and there was a tunnel, and that led here, but now it's just gone."

Hiccup felt rather useless in this situation. "You sure you're looking in the right spot...?"

"Yes!" The kid insisted. "Look, this is where I was standing when you're crazy dragon hit me--" he pointed. Said dragon continued his tussle with the smaller one. "And I walked there from here--" he pointed again. "And I tripped and fell from a high place, so _logically_..." He stopped and took a shaky breath. "Nevermind. There's absolutely nothing logical about this entire situation."

Hiccup desperately felt like he should try and do something about this. "What's your name? And your parents' name?"

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third," the kid said. Hiccup felt his brain bubbling up for an explosion. "And my father is Stoick the Vast, Oh Hear His Name And Tremble, Ugh Ugh, and my mother's name is Valhallarama."

Hiccup stared at this kid. Who was, apparently, _also_ Hiccup. "This is stupid. I'm sleeping. This is a very weird dream, and I'll wake up and vow never to eat cold, day-old mutton before bed ever again."

The kid gave him a look. "Your dragon felt rather real when it barreled in to my and knocked my to the ground."

"Alright fine." Hiccup scowled. "But how did you get here again? A hole in the wall?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me honestly that holes are known for their teleportation habits where you come from."

That gave this Hiccup kid pause. "Alright fine, it's odd."

"It really is, what an amazing observation."

Kid Hiccup glared at him. "What are we supposed to do about it? The hole's gone. If this is a dream, I'll wake up perfectly fine later. But if it's not, which seems more likely to me, considering your aggressive dragon, I definitely won't be home in time for supper."

"I... I guess I could take you to see my father? He's the chief, and... also called Stoick the Vast, by the way."

"What about Toothless?"

Oh. Hiccup turned to look at the dragons. The smaller one was now writhing and screeching under the black one's paw, spitting fire while Bigger Toothless looked on, clearly very annoyed. "I mean, he could stay here...."

"You're delinquent would kill him," Kid Hiccup replied without missing a beat. Big Toothless made a rumbling sound that didn't seem to alleviate his concerns in the slightest.

"You're probably not wrong...."

"So I can't go back home, my dragon should probably stay with me, except he would be killed if I brought him into your village."

"Yes, thank you for summing that up."

"I'm not going to be home in time for dinner, am I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that book!Hiccup blew up a mountain-sized dragon at the tender age of eleven


End file.
